The Journey to Being Body Positive
Body positive… something that isn’t just set to people who are on the plus side of body beauty… “Being too thick”, “too thin…” or “too inbetween…”
Loving your body starts with YOU… and you alone… first and always…
Easier said than done, right?
Especially sense we all have these preconceived notions of what’s right and wrong in terms of body image:
Thick is toxic… or Big is Broken…
I don’t see it… if you do… maybe you’re being kind of dare I say…
Lean is mean…
Not everybody sees the world so one-sided… You can be slim and supportive
There are more allies in the world of all genders, races, nationalities, sizes and textures… (what are we made of stone…)
So when do we say…. NO enough is enough… your definition of beauty and body doesn’t have to match everyone else’s nor do you EVER have to fit into it… some “box”… don’t do it for the gram… do it for you!!!
Don’t let someones self hate or judgements let you think otherwise… if someone is judging you based on a your physical appearance odds are there’s something about themselves they don’t quite like themselves… or maybe they need constant validation in this social media driven “likes” world… that’s sometimes a borderline black mirror episode staring Bryce Dallas Howard… (I’m just saying).
I’m a queer gay black man who doesn’t look like everyone else… made up of mostly African, a little over a quarter European and Native American ancestry. I’m 250+ lbs of thickness… sometimes more sometimes less…
I’m comfortable in my skin and strive for ways to stay healthy…. living a plant based/vegan lifestyle for the last 10+ years… staying active in a variety of ways:
I dance, I cardio, I gym, I walk, I move weight, I jog, I hike (on some occasions), I laugh… I smile… I try to stay happy, optimistic and positive which believe it does more for your body than you can imagine…
I enjoy life with very small limits on what I eat, do or don’t (your body is a temple and temples need rest as well as destress). I encouraging myself, others and receiving it in return. I share my positivity in body, mind and spirit as much as I can on the gram not for validation (well some), but mostly for others to validate themselves:
Big is beautiful.
Black is beautiful.
Men are beautiful!
Multiracial is beautiful!
My friends are beautiful!
My family is beautiful!
Strangers are beautiful!
Life is beautiful!
We are all beautiful!
So wear what you want… eat what you want… flex how you want…. “We’re born naked and the rest is drag,” as RuPaul would say… the same applies to the way we perceive body image, self image and so many things… let that marinate for a minutes…
CHECK OUT:
Coffee House Chronicles (web series and movie)
See: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCkIUBaj5PrtiEObW-e4P39w/
HELPFUL LINKS:
See: https://www.them.us/story/dear-instagays-stop-calling-yourselves-thicc
See: https://www.glamour.com/story/these-25-body-positive-women-prove-every-one-of-us-is-swimsuit-ready
STALK ME & LET’s BE FRIENDS:
FACEBOOK –  INSTAGRAM – TWITTER  – YELP  – YOUTUBEÂ
The Casual Act of The Unfollow
First and foremost happy end of July!!! It’s National Avocado Day and that’s one “friend” who will always be there for you… each time you’re willing to spend the extra dollar… I’ve been sitting on this idea for over a month… so here it goes…
The Art of The Unfollow
Friends, Acquaintances, Avocados… old flames… why after years of (mostly) platonic social media ship does someone suddenly decide to walk away or play sheep…
It’s August tomorrow… already and you spent it being ju-lied to worst than Hanna B. was on this season on The Bachelorette (she should’ve choose Peter… I mean she only slept with the guy four times…Â but we dig Tyler too… Jed… however… just wow):
So I invested my energy maybe two years ago into utilizing an unfollowers app for Instagram (which now allows you to track your stats in that department) and sometimes for Twitter as well…
Being followed and unfollowed happens frequently for all people and even more so for those who are noteworthy or verified. Say you’re Chadwick Boseman (Black Panther) and you’re trying to reach out to potentially new fans… but you.. your social media specialist/manager, legal guardian or mom (depending on your age and/or habits… maybe she’s your manager or publicist)… isn’t putting in the work to actually connect with fans… like a comment… typing out a responses… and all the ways to socialize/network with people via media…
Are you/they jaded or detached… Is it just a numbers game… why do you want me to follow you…. why do I want you to follow me… I’m no better or worst than anyone else in the world (if everyone had a clean slate, which they do before you personally get to know them truthfully)…
For me when I connect (in person or online) with everyone who wants to connect with me and even those years after college, working, living or collabing together… I continue to be invested. It doesn’t really change the friendship or relationship with those people when time passes… however social media is how everyone will eventually predominately stay in touch as time progresses and Generation Z adapts amazing new concepts and we’ll all still collectively agree that life is expensive, but being yourself in person and/or expressing it online is all pretty much free… and your validation is always your own.
Depending on what you do or what you want to do career wise having a channel, blog or social presence is almost all about the visual resume nowadays… not just for employment but for life goals… new friendships… new loves… If you’ve ever been on a dating or “casual dating/hookup app” you know you’ve trolled your potential love or lust interest in a matter of minutes and made your notions about said human based on those “visual resumes” (Twitter, SnapChat, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, YouTube and so on).
So what in a visual resume is enough to make you swipe left on an old “ship” or person you could be interested in but they have odd features (to you)… and what’s enough to keep swiping yes to way too many friends to count…
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to make more friends in person or online… but keep an open mind… it takes effort to be effortless… it takes pull push… if someone you’re already friends with of any nature makes an effort… make the effort back…. if new person connects with you first you could consider their outreach in the form of a hopefully genuine re-friend/follow/like/comment/snapchat/response back… like an interview… granted you’re not going to get everything from that individual right away… however you will know that it’s worth getting to know that person within a few days depending on their history and productivity… if you follow someone first note they might be approaching this as you would when you are in their shoes…
Not getting those likes, follows, etc.. is not the end of the world… at the end of the day you’re still living your truth and that’s all that matters… be your biggest fan first and always.
As for the Purge…
Those FB and IG friends who filter out all the bad/negativity in their life you’re amazing… however if you lump people who you’ve never had any issues with and only good vibes or memories and support you no matter the last time you physically interacted… but haven’t reached out or been reach out to sense the last life event or months ago… consider reaching out first before you group them in with that epic post “sorry not sorry if you’ve been deleted”…. In truth any relationship is not going to be limited by a simple lower follower count you’ll still keep in touch the old school ways… No not MySpace, Facebook or even SnapChat… but the phone… an email… a postcard… a letter…. game night… the reunion… until then… “Ride til you can’t no more!”
Helpful Links:
See: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCdtXPiqI2cLorKaPrfpKc4gÂ
Music Must:
See: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_uMv3bNXwapHl8Dzf2p01Q
DON’T FORGET TO FOLLOW ME OR UNFOLLOW ME :_( LOL…ON MEDIA FOR
FRIENDSHIP, FUN and FIERCE UNCONDITIONALLY LOVE (I’m 1/16th hippie):
FACEBOOK –  INSTAGRAM – TWITTER  – YELP  – YOUTUBEÂ
It’s Gonna Be MOM’S Day
Hey all Happy Spring…
It’s May!!!!
Did you ring it in with NSYNC or even Backstreet Boys memes gallore:
Did you drop those Star Wars post like they were going outta style… you know the ones:
Did you drinko (and feast) on cinco:
[(pic 1)Happy Hour Margarita’s at Te’Kila (Sherman Oaks, CA) – a must try]
[(pic 2)Homemade Nacho Fries – see: veganwinelush.wordpress.com for deets]
[(pic 3)Del Taco’s beyond avocado tacos +
8 layer veggie burrito – minus cheese and sour cream
for a vegan paradise in my mouth]
Well hopefully you’re living it up with all things MAY even on a budget, because we all haven’t quite hit that Mega Millions, Power Ball, Super Lotto, or Monopoly grocery game top prize just yet….
(even steal hard to not go with a deal, am I right?.
SAVE money and money will SAVE YOU)
Speaking of deals… today’s or rather the weekend deal is that of Mother’s Day….
*takes beat to call mom,
sets reminder to do it again on
the day of so she knows
she’s special!
… end of thought… wait…
YouTube play Lizzo – Juice
….loading….
“If I’m shiny, everybody gonna shine (Yeah, I’m goals)
I was born like this, don’t even gotta try (Now you know)
I like chardonnay, get better over time (So you know)
Heard you say I’m not the baddest, bitch, you lie”
*dedicates anthem to mom*
Who or what is mom to you, to us? They, Them, She are strong empowering (in obvious and even subtle ways).
They grind yours gears, but also help you fix them.
They are loving and deadly lol.
They are raw emotion.
 First teacher they be.
She’s your first hero.
Moms are value.
So don’t forget them even when you argue over nothing or everything one of you is going through like life stuff.
Don’t be distant just because one of you needs space (still reach out). You don’t have to buy your mom a gift to show them you love them…
Remember those crafty elementary school projects and/or even middle school “advance crafts…” you know the ones…
!!!yaaaas kween paper mache!!!
There was this one time I made this amazing glass paper mache bottle for my mom in 6th grade… I didn’t want to break or crack it so I thought… don’t take the bus, you know that same one you’ve been taking every day because your parents both work you don’t live within walking distance AT ALL of your school…
BUT I though hey with my luck it this bottle won’t make it… so I figure hey one of my parents can come get me even if it’s a little after school is over or even a grandparent, they live next door, but if I call them my grandma will wonder where her glass bottle is too. So we didn’t call her. I thought what numbers do I know by memory… quite a few actually… I thought can I walk closer to somewhere… would the office staff even let me at this point… I had no sense of direction… barely getting a handle on it now hahaha… but we lived maybe 15ish miles away (we never went to school in our neighborhood… emphasis on the hood. Our parents wanted to let us dream big so we almost always went to performance arts, enrichment and creative schools when we were young… hence this blog life).
So you’re 11 years old… you go to the office and call everyone you can.
Mom was busy. Dad was still at work (but close by)… my uncle was visiting, but to busy playing with my siblings to answer the first time… I was freaking out, but I really wanted to keep this bottle safe for mama. I mean I worked on it for a whole 45 minutes, not including a day’s dry time…. all I remember is getting yelled at for maybe three minutes (both in the car and at home) when I finally did get picked up and then getting a giant hug after that 🙂 My mom still has that bottle! Hottesome for the win!
Remember your mother isn’t the person who gave you life… It’s that person who has taught you, laughed with you, cried with you, disciplined you and celebrated you as you do them.
Everyone’s journey and situation is unique, so every mom in the world is unique and not just of your DNA and is different (for better or worse).
SO to all the mom’s out there and all the kids who have their own bottle memories I say cheers to you and the weekend!
“Ya-ya-ee, ya-ya-ee, ya-ya-ee, ya-ya-ee”
Side Note: If you need to grab a last minute anything for your mom, mom friend, significant other, grandmother, tia (that’s aunt in español) or any/all those amazing humans of the world… I suggest amazon prime (if you’re a member or reaching out to a friend who is…. hint hint… for a one day, same day or very quick deliver).
Instagram DM (@hottesome) or Email: hottesome@gmail.com for deals/details.
CATCH ME on the SM side:
FACEBOOK –  INSTAGRAM – TWITTER  – YELP  – YOUTUBEÂ
This blog is dedicated to Kimberly Cheri Bell (Ellis) my mother!!!!!!
Hottesome 