It’s here…
National Coming Out Day – October 11th
I recently read an article from a college professor, Matthew H. Birkhold, of Ohio State University and I firmly agree it should be read and marinated on. If you want someone to hear your voice, your heart, your truth… whether you believe the opposed or not… you still have to listen to them as well… fair is fair.
And as Matthew stated… in summary: it’s his viewpoint not a viewpoint as a whole. He’s in a great place in his life, married, etc… and not everyone is or has Matthew’s life. I (me also not speaking for a majority) believe it’s easy to sympathize with people from all over the world especially given the horrific events of California, Las Vegas, Puerto Rico, Mexico, Texas, Philippines, Charleston and so many other places within the last 2 years alone. Even more so those that have directly effected the LGBTQ+ community which also includes Asexuality, Intersex (political correct) and Pansexuality (not the same as or to be confused with bisexuality) #OrlandoStrong #Visibilty.
Sympathy is understanding (mental more than emotional), but empathy is actually feeling first hand (deep compassion more than rational)… being able to put yourself in the shoes of someone and experience that emotions be it good, bad, or just pure raw chaos.
To say National Coming Out Day hasn’t made the world a better place the last 29 years would be an out right lie… it’s made the ability to communicate and freely explore who one is with out any guilt, less judgement, and candor… definitely opening doors and breaking some “down low” and dated stigmas in certain cultures and societies (like African American, Armenian, Persian, Middle Eastern, Mexican, country and hip hop).
Same Love
I came out when I was 14 1/2 going on 15 years old. I knew from a young age (probably 3) I was “unique,” but I was never truly ashamed ever… scared yes ( to this day those hateful words like “f***** and f** make me cringe)… because I didn’t know what it meant growing up to be “unique” what those slanders were saying I just knew they made me feel less than like another word I won’t get into (let’s just say starts with the 14th letter of the alphabet and leave it be)… I didn’t know where to find answers… I didn’t know who I could trust…
When my parents finally found out and I mean found out… discovering the half naked to naked men pictures and articles I had collected, the printings and clippings from my teen people magazines (throwback), internet sites I had no business being on as a Sophomore in high school, letters I had written to crushes, my journals (which I never wrote in again until live journal – another throwback) and miscellaneous by chance rare finds ( rainbow stickers, etc… ssssh)… my secret was out and the best part is it wasn’t even a good one…(fall out boy quote inserted).
I felt whatever about it… honestly… my dad was really understanding and accepting and my mom overreacted getting a little biblical about it… she’ll deny to this day what she said because she’s done a 180 x 3 since then (see full story up on my YouTube channel –https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxTcYXyk9ngIUX-e06MDkrg – Subscribe and comment about your experience or someone close to you coming out to you for the first time… how’d you take it… or handle it…).
Acceptance
All I can say is even if you come out at 15 or 52 it’s still a process of self discovery and not just sexually because who you sleep with doesn’t define you. You define you… you can still be the all star jock, the lead actor or actress, the mechanic, the book worm, the hero,
the antagonist, the insightful scientist, the ex mormon, the stay at home parent, the successful writer, the big sister, the favorite uncle, the love of someones life…. nothing has to change who you become.
Romance
I had my first real kiss at 9, a boy in my class who I’d sneak off with at recess and lunch until we grew up and apart and went to different schools. I knew at a young age I liked boys and that my heart was never into pretending to want a girlfriend.
I am really grateful that I have always had such amazing friends and even more so later co-workers throughout my life with the exception of one women who made me feel like dirt for being gay when I was 23 (we wont name names only say that when you’re simple in the heart you’re simple in the head… love isn’t what you pick and choose… it’s all in or nothing)… I’ve been in love more than once and had that true love that’s in the movies (just once, he knows who he is) that’s so powerful that it hurts so good even when you’re fighting.
I have zero regrets for what I’ve been through on my journey to coming out or who I’ve shared that part of myself with whether they be friend or foe. I think as gay man of color National Coming Out day just reaffirms unity… I personally don’t think it should ever fade or filter. The “norm” in culture can only evolve into something richer when nourished in diversity as well as encouragement.
If you or someone you know is struggling to come out… REACH OUT to someone you trust or even your local LGBT center, GSA, P-FLAG, the Human Rights Campaign or local LGBT friendly and/or sponsored organizations.
Helpful Links:
See:Â https://gsanetwork.org/ – Gay Straight Alliance/ Gender and Sexuality Alliance
See:Â https://www.hrc.org/ – Human Rights Campaign
See:Â https://lalgbtcenter.org/ – Los Angeles Lesbiann Gay Bisexual Transgender Center
See:Â https://www.pflag.org/ – Parents and Friend of Lesbians and Gays
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LGBT Shorts:
My first directing project
My first LGBT film as an actor
References:
See:Â http://ew.com/movies/2017/09/14/ezra-miller-justice-league-flash-fans-apology/
See:Â https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/its-time-to-end-national-coming-out-day/2017/10/10/a9db94ec-ad2b-11e7-9e58-e6288544af98_story.html?utm_term=.ff649a4f5317
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